Santosh Raut

Hi, in this blog I am not going to write anything generic, or anything that is readily available on the internet like quick tips and all. We are going to brainstorm the concept of trust together and figure out is it necessary or not and if it is how is it necessary, where is it necessary, and how to build it. So let's start with what the trust is. 

Trust vs Belief

Most of us when we use these words trust and belief, we are not exactly one hundred percent clear what is trust and what is belief. So, we end up using these words whenever we want however we want. But there's a clear difference between trust and belief. 

Belief is nothing but a concept, or hypothesis that you've hold in your mind. For example, I believe in God. The meaning of this statement is that I don't know or I don't have any clear evidence that God exists but there's a conviction in me that there is god. Belief is when you are in a state of hypothesis. You don't know but you believe.

Knowing is when you understand or realize what the thing is not based on theoretical concepts but actually. For instance, "I know the way to Mount Everest." You can't use the word "belief" here. So, the concept of belief vanishes when you understand things by 100%.

Trust is nothing but a belief that we have in a person that s/he will fulfill this/these expectation/s  till when the person in this role. The ground of trust is expectation and belief. If you don't believe that the person will not fulfill your expectations, then that simply means you don't trust the person. But if you believe that the person will fulfill your expectations, then that means you trust that person. 

Why do you trust your parents?
=> because you believe that they'll fulfill the expectations related to the definition of good parents. The moment your expectations are not met, the trust factor between you and your parents decreases.

Types of Trust: 
1. Trust between employer and employee.
2. Trust in relationships (romantic, friend, family).
4. Trust in business.

Trust between employer and employee: 

This is a trust that an employer has from an employee or an employee has from an employer. The employer has an expectation that this employee is offered x role and his responsibilities y and z expectations are to be fulfilled by him/her. If he fulfills this over the course of a period, the trust is established. Similarly, the employee has the expectations from an employer that he/she should get x amount as salary monthly, get y in growth opportunities, and get z benefits from that job role. If those expectations are fulfilled the employee trusts the employer. Simple in this case.

Trust in relationship: 

Before, building trust in a relationship we have to be very clear about our expectations form that person. We can be clear about our expectations only and only when we know ourselves(Not talking about spirituality, just talking as a person). You have to know your biology. You have to know about the mind, psychology, etc.   Only then, you can have a realistic expectation of them. 

Do not set unrealistic expectations like the following: 
When I am in a relationship(romantic) with her, she shouldn't think of someone else or get attracted to someone else.
When I am feeling unwell, my partner should understand me without even communicating with me.
Don't you get attracted to someone else when you are in a relationship with her? Do you understand your partner magically without communicating? When you can't live your expectations of your own, how can you believe that your partner will?  So understand yourself. Be aware of all the things happening inside you and set expectations accordingly. The only reason behind an unhappy relationship is setting an unrealistic expectation from your partner. So, it is very crucial to understand yourself before you enter any relationship. 

Trust in Business: 

Elon Musk says, "Trust no one. Not even no one. I almost have never been betrayed in my life because I've never trusted anyone." What does he mean? From an outside world, Mr Sam Altman did actually pivot terms on what he'd agreed before establishing OpenAI. Then why would he say so? It is because great people operate on the basis of probability mindset (I'll write another blog on probability mindset). He internally didn't have hope that Sam Altman will follow terms what he's agreed to follow. Why? because he knows the emotion of greed very well.

Apart from this, a business needs its customers to trust their brand. The customer trusts only those brands that deliver what they are saying to deliver. They trust only those who are honest and stand with their commitment. Those brands that do not fulfill their commitment are untrustworthy. (Commitment is not just important for trust in business it is equally important in relationships as well). 

Other kinds of foolish trusts we do: 
-If you like a person long enough, you'll trust that person very easily. 
-If the person you've trusted misuses your trust or breaks your trust, you'll end up giving him/her a second chance when he/she says something emotional. And when that person breaks trust for another time you again end up giving him/her another chance. And this cycle goes on. 

-We trust that person who is familiar more than a stranger no matter if the person is very cruel, or not worthy of your trust. (Take a bet with a stranger rather than relying on that same familiar person because everybody you know today was a stranger to you someday.)

Before trusting anyone, you have to research that person very well. Do not trust on the basis of what he/she is saying. Do not trust on the basis of how he/she is portraying his/her image. Check if his/her actions and work are matching or not. If you find any mismatch, "ding-ding" It's a red flag. Don't trust him/her. Run away.  If a person is not fulfilling his/her commitment, don't trust him/her. Do not trust people on the basis of their role and position. Do not trust a person because all people trust him/her blindly. Don't trust anyone easily. Trust should be given to someone only when you understand yourself completely and after verifying if he/she is fulfilling all his commitments. The real trust is established only and only after years of fulfillment of commitment from both ends.  Patience is needed to experience real trust which is only a few in thousands have in today's generation.