Santosh Raut

I was talking to a guy who revealed that he likes a girl and asked if there was a way to tell her without being judged. I said, “Okay, that’s it? Then listen.”

I had two options: motivate him or tell him the truth. The truth is bitter, and most people don’t want to hear it. So, I asked him, “Do you want to hear what you want to hear, or do you want the truth?” He replied, “I want the truth.” Though I could tell he said that to avoid sounding foolish, I responded, “There is no way to avoid being judged. This question dissolves if you understand how the human brain and mind function.”

He asked, “What do you mean?” Here’s what I explained:

The human mind constantly judges. Judging means comparing. The mind compares two or more pieces of information and draws a conclusion. If you observe yourself closely, this is what you do all the time. When you step up on a stair, you compare the height of your leg to the stair and, if they match, you take the step. When you think of something or someone, you’re comparing one piece of information with another stored in your brain. These are just examples; I could give countless others.

How do you make decisions? By judging. You compare the idea of being healthy with being unhealthy, draw a conclusion about why being unhealthy is bad, and decide to exercise regularly. But how good or bad this conclusion is depends on the person’s level of understanding. You have no control over that. If you don’t judge, you can never make a decision. You’d be like an animal. Judging isn’t bad.

I was watching a podcast featuring a popular businesswoman who is also a shark. She said, “Gen Z people don’t judge.” The comments were full of people saying “wow.” Why? Because this is what people are conditioned to like. It’s sad, but many people can’t tell the difference between a horse and a donkey. If you don’t know yourself, anyone can fool you because you’ll carry unrealistic expectations set by society. When those expectations aren’t met, you end up blaming yourself or those around you.